Today…. you turn 5.

You, the bright and beautiful boy that I had always dreamed of , you are a self-proclaimed “big boy”. You are charming, energetic, smart, and inquisitive. You are creative. you have the soul of an artist and the sensitivity that will bring you many good friends in this life.

You are my joy. A joy that grows and expands with each inch you grow and with each pound you gain. A joy that I felt for the first time on August 27th, 2003 at 8:20 pm. A joy that is so inspiring that you make me want to be the best human that I can be. Every day you remind me how I would like our world to be for you and yours. Everyday I strive to create that place for you.

You are imprinted on my heart. Like a seal that holds it together and helps it to pump stronger. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing that I think about in the evening. I have always told you that I kept a tiny piece of your heart in mine. You and your daddy are the heart of my hearts.

You are very, very bright. You read us a brand new book this morning. You could read your 5th Birthday book. Your daddy and I teared up at that magical moment when the power of words and the world of language opened its gate to you and welcomed you into the fold. That magic will sustain you through every part and parcel of this lifetime. I hope you grow to love language as we do. You already have a pretty large vocabulary and use it well and often!

The shoes you have on in this picture are your daddy’s. You are so very like him. In all of the best possible ways, you are your father’s son. You boys are a wicked hard force of nature when you get going. It is no use for me to resist the silly jokes, the very dry sense of humor, the witty comebacks, and those beautiful, long lashed, kind brown eyes. Those shoes of your daddy’s are not for you to fill. They are for you to grow into and find the right fit for you. Just know that your daddy will be walking in his shoes right behind you to catch you when you fall.

You, my beautiful son, have made us a family. I celebrate your birth as the birth of my little family. In my book, the most joyous day of the year is August 27th. You have celebrated your birthday with your friends and family already… and tonight we continue the celebration. And in the evening, when all of the pizza is eaten and the candles are blown out, I will tell you that I love you so much. If I cry a little or hug a little more tightly tonight… you’ll understand….right?

Happy 5th Birthday Joshua.

I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I am living, my baby you’ll be.

Mommy

oxox

Six glorious days left….

Lordy… I hope the video held you all over…FOREVER!

I am so inundated with work and life stuff that i feel like I am in a quagmire.

I have been working like 24-7 with small bits of joy interspersed… I promise that I will be back soon!

Biggest highlight:

Taking the cowboy to see They Might Be Giants for his first concert and getting a picture with Marty, the drummer. (My buddy will be sending the photo soon)

Remind me to tell you some stories about me and drummers, ok?

Photoshop is the best.program.ever.

My latest obsession is roasted beets. Look at that color… makes you want to eat some beets right now, eh?

I just learned a little olive oil, salt, and pepper goes a long, long way for flavor.

On a completely unrelated note:

The cowboy is working some Star Wars battle scenes out in his art. There are literally hundreds of these around my house.

Oi! Poor trees…..

Congratulations Bird!

My baby sister (isn’t she gorgeous?) is flying the coop.

Congrats on all of your hard work and moxie… we are all so proud!

He graduated! I am whooped!

This weekend has been chock full of self sufficiency. The cowboy and I were left to ourselves while D put in some very, very long hours moving his office to a smaller suite in the warehouse building.

I made the decision that I would spend lots of quality time with the boy, seeing as he regularly gets dragged to places that are little fun for 4 year olds. A picnic in the park today with his buddies and the farmer’s market are two of his very favorite things to do.

I have been thinking a lot about self sufficiency and how reliant my little family is on convenience. Now that gas is at the highest  price I have ever seen it, I am thinking more about resources and how we expend them unnecessarily. I read a few blogs where folks are questioning the same ideas and doing more urban homesteading.

I settled up my debt to the Enoch Pratt Library and checked out a few books to help in my quest.

Bread Machine Magic

I really love this book. The Sunflower bread is WONDERFUL. I made 2 loaves this weekend in no time flat. I am slicing and freezing some of the breads as to have fresh bread for the week. I have a buttermilk cinnamon raisin loaf in the bread maker right now.

I also checked out Elizabeth Zimmerman’s Knitting Around. I want to try to wrap my head around her process.. I would like knitting to become more of an organic exercise for me. Less pattern oriented and more innate.

My other book that has me all jazzed is a book on Middle Eastern cooking. The New Book of Middle Eastern Food. I love Middle Eastern cooking. I also am looking to make my own hummus and babaganoush this summer. I buy them at the grocery store so frequently and feel that I can make them just as easily and way less expensive.

The overall feeling that I am getting right now is to do more for our family and not cash in the convenience chip as often as we do. I live in a city that is chock full of resources that do not rely on wasting resources. I have a fully planted garden and a membership in an organic CSA. I am making our bread (way too easy!) and getting our milk locally (and delivered! Yup…Mama has a milkman!)

Who else has great ideas?

Dear D and Cowboy,

This mother is very, very proud to be the lady in your life (lives).

I want to thank you for being so kind, and funny, and responsive to my often crazy ideas.

D… thanks for being my best friend. The person who never (out loud) thinks that my zany ideas are , well, zany. Thanks for giving me room to explore my creativity and to be me. The me you met and dated, and later made an honest woman. You are the best friend a girl could ever hope for… and I love you with all my heart and am so proud to be your wife.

Cowboy, you are an amazing child. You have a sensitivity that I hope never leaves you. You are polite beyond your years and you take delight in all that comes your way. You have the creativity bug, too. And I think it is as bad as the one that bit me. And, I love you. Like a love that I have never had with anyone else. Your my boy… and I am so, so proud to be your mama.

So, my boys, thanks for making me a mama. Thanks for a very special day of gardening yesterday and of toying with my new GPS! Thanks for making me laugh, giving me direction, and making me whole.

I love you both so much,

E.

Umm… just found out that Chewy… the wonder cat… has anxiety disorder.

Thank you nice vet man for the 245.00 bill (and 135.00 in a supply list) to say that my cat is crazy. Let’s hope the feliway works… shall we?

Let’s not forget the kitty prozac too.

Oy!