And then … It hit me…
My youngest brother, Bill, is graduating from high school. He recently turned 18.. and now is a man.
And as he graduates, I think of the rapid passage of time. I can sometimes sneak a peek of the wide-eyed 7 year old that wrote the essay on how I was is favorite person. And the kid who only knows how to draw a baseball diamond and players. I see my brother in my son’s face. They share the same giggle. They have the same need to run and play.
We, Bill and I, would sing and dance around our little house in Danbury to the song “These Are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs. I was 19 and full of angst. He was 3 and full of wonder.
“These are the days
These are days you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you
These are days that you’ll remember
When May is rushing over you
With desire to be part of the miracles
You see in every hour
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched
By something that will grow and bloom in you
These are days
These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It’s true
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking
To you, to you”
The tears run down my face as I think of how proud I am of the kind of man he grew up to be. (And how scary that Natalie Merchant is tied up in some of my sweetest memories)
And I think of how proud my father would be of him. And just how very much I still miss my dad. And how much my brother must miss him too. And my mom… and my sister…
I figured out that there will always we this huge black hole where my dad is concerned. And that I can not run from it… I just try to honor it. And know that we all feel bittersweet… and will forever.
I am so lucky to have you, Bill. You are everything that a sister could hope for. I promise, when you are some big-time politician, I will not be your Roger Clinton. I also promise that I will always be in your corner. Forever.
And, Dad, I will hug him extra tight for you.
)
